THE MUSINGS OF A NOT-SO-NAKED CIVIL SERVANT

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

So, I'm a member of this really terrific site by the name of Dreamcaps.  It's a site where you can go and see pix of gorgeous men - celebrities mostly - add comments, play games, meet people, etc.  Sort of like a bar, but the pictures are better.  I've been a member for a while, and really enjoyed all of the postings and comments - if not the attitude exhibited by some of the members.  You know, I figured the pay-off was greater than the challenges.

So, tonight, I'm back at the site and attempting to contribute - adding some pictures of cutie-patootie Maroon 5 lead singer and hunk-a-hunk-a-musical love, Adam Levine, and I've got all eight pictures uploaded and the message complete and I send it and it doesn't go.  Says some necessary files are missing, blah, blah, blah.  Then I notice that there's a message in my inbox - which is rare, because NOone from the site ever writes to me (hell, they hardly respond to my postings...) - so I open the message and it's from Val, one of the moderators, and he says something to the effect of "STOP POSTING IN CAPS...CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT?" or something equally confrontational.  Needless to say, I was aghast at the rudeness.

Now, granted, I didn't reat the fine print when I started to post to the group, so it might have been Rule #1, Regulation B-26, Subsection 25 that said, in clear and concise language, that posting in caps was VERBOTTEN!  I admit it - I didn't read it.  Bad boy...bad, bad, bad boy.  But is that a reason to come back at me so harshly.  Couldn't dear and precious Val simply have said, "Hey, buddy....could you not post in caps anymore?"  I would have gotten the hint, loud and clear.  But instead of the higher path, Val opted for the baser one - the one followed by every demigogue and asshole ever created that thought because they moderated a website that they were somehow possessed of such magical powers that they could transend this life and dictate to those remaining.    How sad!

I find it especially disconcerting at this point in time and space because there is  so much else going on in the world that is so much more important than whether or not I post in caps or lower case.  That poor woman in Florida; her husband; her family; the Iraqi people; the American people; people with AIDS....there is so much stuff that deserves so much more of our attention - but all Val can worry about is whether or not I can take a hint about posting in caps?

It seems that the entire world has gone completely nutso.  There's no civility left...no one cares...no one gives a rat's ass about anyone or anything else, other than themselves and what's important to them, and the hell with the rest of us.  Salespeople are surly, co-workers bitter, friends about to pull their hair out by the roots and family - well, if they weren't all dead, I'm sure they'd be pretty out-of-sorts, as well.

What do you suppose is causing it?   Is it the planets that are all aligned against us poor mortals?  Is it the compassionate conservatism of the Bush troika?  Is it just the end times, wreaking havoc on the planet to avenge our evil ways?

You know what the real pisser in all of this is?  I tried to cancel my membership to the site - and there was no place to do that!  Can you believe it?  My posting privileges have been revoked, but I can't even exit the group.  It's like AA or the Republican Party - once they've got you in their clutches, you can never leave.  They can treat you like shit, beat-up on you, ignore you and your efforts to fit in - and you are still a member! 

Oh, and see...I forgot to tell you how poorly they treated me while I was a member.  I tried to fit in.  I tried to add wit and wisdom to the commentary...tried to give people reasons to like me.  And they ignored me.  Never responded to my comments, nor replied to my e-mails.  I'd post something with hot photos, and get maybe 5 people to even read my message.   Someone else would post tired re-posts of tired people - and there'd be 40 or 50 messages. 

Why bother, you ask?  Because if I walk into a room full of people - say a thousand - and only one person dislikes me, that's the person that I'll focus on.  Forget the other 999 - it's that damn one person that doesn't like me that I'm going to pay attention to.  It's just like the Dreamcaps site.  It was the one site that I never felt at home with.  So, rather than following my gut instinct and ending my patronage - I held on, hoping that they would eventually see what a great guy I am.  And you know what?  It wasn't ever going to happen.  I'll never be straight, or Republican or popular at Dreamcaps. 

And that's that....

'Til Death Do Us part...

I'm not prone to getting into political discourse anymore, given the hideous results of the 2004 election cycle and the current occupant of the White House, who I choose to block out of my consciousness for fear that - should I let him occupy too much time or space - I will be rendered completely unable to function and in desperate need of a bottle of what Judy took just before she yelled "Micky Dean, Micky Dean," from the loo.

But, something is happening - which I told everyone would - that is beyond the pale and borders on an America so warped and so completely disparate from the America envisioned by the framers of that now-forgotten document, The Constitution of these United States of America, that I simply cannot stay quiet.

I am speaking, of course, about Terri Schiavo, the Florida woman that has become the center of a controversy so monumental and so unbelievable that I cannot even believe that any of us are devoting time to it.  In a nutshell - as if you haven't already heard more than enough about it - the poor thing has been non-functioning now for fifteen years now, as the result of a heart-stoppage that cut off the flow of oxygen to her brain.  She can breathe on her own, but is incapable of caring for herself or of speech.  Her husband obtained a court order allowing him to disconnect the feeding tubes that sustained her, but her parents - swayed by the prognostications of some snake-charmer physicians that swear on a stack of bibles that the woman can be rehabilitated - have challenged that order, and now we find ourselves in the constitutional quagmire that we do.

For a man that avows that God is his guide and the bible his road map, as George Bush does, to overlook some of the most powerful words written in that book as they pertain to marriage is no longer just a laugh-riot - it is blashphemy...heresy.  For Mr. Bush would have us believe that he acts in God's interests, yet again he has found reason to oppose God and oppose the bible, all the while pleading that he is a man of devout faith.  Here are just two passages from the bible about marriage and the relationship between the husband and wife:

(1 Corinthians 7:2-4 KJV)
(2) Nevertheless, {to avoid} fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. (3) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (4) The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

(Ephesians 5:22-33 KJV)
(22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so {let} the wives {be} to their own husbands in every thing. (25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, (27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (28) So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (29) For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (33) Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife {see} that she reverence {her} husband.

I am not a theologian, nor am i particularly devout when it comes to religion, but I am capable of reading and comprehending even the writings of long-dead men that professed to know something about what God wanted for the world.  It seems to me that, in those passages, mankind is told that the husband is the decision-maker in matters concerning the marriage and the wife.  This being the case, it seems to me that the ruling set down by the judge in favor of Mr. Schiavo is the closest thing to God's will that a human judiciary can achieve.

All of that notwithstanding, when did it become the dominion of the government to decide which life should be spared and which one lost in cases such as this one?  Why, all of a sudden, is Terri Schiavo's life so important to Mr. Bush - or to the fate of the nation, for that matter?  And when did it become incumbent upon the government to interfere in the personal lives of its citizens to such a degree that the right to die with dignity is no longer a personal choice? 

Certainly, this is NOT a matter of national defense.  Terri Schiavo's life nor death will not determine whether another terrorist attack occurs; nor whether democracy is established in the Middle East; nor whether Social Security will be "rescued" with private accounts.  It will determine nothing - except how far Mr. Bush and his demogogue cabal will stoop to undermine the Constitution and rob us of our rights as individuals and citizens of a country that used to hold personal Liberty and Freedom to be THE most important and fundamental elements of our society.

Mr. Bush has gone too far...and yet the sheep continue to blindly follow - just as the prophets foretold.  It is a dark day in America, but not because of Mrs. Schiavo.  It is because George W. Bush has proved, once again, to be the very essence of evil...the anti-Christ.

May God help us all!

SPORTY GAYS

Many people seem to be of the mistaken opinion that homosexuality and sports are two mutually-exclusive states of being or endeavor.  America's past-time - baseball - for example, is in the midst of a potentially history-making event which will see the "outing" of one of its players after a recent survey of major league players revealed that 76% of them don't have a problem with a gay team mate.  Granted, there are more than enough vocal members of the remaining 24% that will make the event a media circus, but the fact remains that there are and always have been gays in sport and, pretty soon, we're all going to know exactly who they are.

It all started with the Greeks, actually - and those bloody Olympics.  For those of you that haven't studied the subject, homosexuality was a much-practiced and, in fact, encouraged sexual activity, both because of the bonding that occurred between the two men involved as well as the realization that men needed to be sexual but women were supposed to be virgins upon marriage so some accommodation simply had to be made.  That accommodation was homosexuality.  Homosexuality was, in fact, so prevalent in ancient Greece that even soldiers were gay - and were often encouraged to be so because, it was rightly believed, a lover was more likely to look out for his partner and protect him than was some stranger conscribed to the same sleeping tent. 

Change came, as it always has, when the Catholic Church got into the act and declared homosexuality to be a sin.  Prior to that edict, the population was still worshipping all manner of dieties, from woodland elves to multiple gods assigned to myriad tasks.  But the Church, under married and warring popes, decided that to amass power and control the populace, it had to establish itself as a political, as well as spiritual, entity singularly capable of providing people with everything that they needed in this life and the next. 

Of course, standing in the way of the great papal plan was a little thing called civil government, i.e. the various monarchies that ruled the civilized world and, ostensibly, had the power to govern and control the peoples of the planet.  Needless to say, confrontation became the order of the day, as the king declared that he would put a transgressor to death and the pope declaring that he would condemn a transgressor to eternal damnation.  The pope usually won out.

Except at a little meeting called The Council of Vienne that took place during the early 1300's and resulted in the installation of a third pope to challenge the legitimacy of the two reigning popes, as well as authorization to launch a holy war against the Muslims in order to wrest control of the Holy Lands away from them.  This council, as well as one two hundred years later dubbed The Council of Trent - which acted to counter the Protestant revolution with a hardening of Catholic dogma and a definitive "consequences of your action" punishment system that could be applied throughout the church.  It was at this council that homosexuality became a hot topic, it being an obvious and grievous sin and all. 

So, in one fell swoop, gays in the military weren't out - and neither were Olympians or any other sportsmen that wanted to curry favor from the church and other sponsors.  Thus began the association of manliness and machismo (read not gay) with sports.  Gays were, after all, "light in the loafers," and could not be expected to summon the necessary strength of body and character to toss a football or kick a soccerball or hit a line drive.  Ice skating, possibly; cheerleading, definitely - but quarterback?  Never.  This, despite the fact that sports is literally rife with homoerotic player terms...such as "tight end" and "catcher." 

Of course, there have been a few pro players that have come out - once they had left the game, of course.  David Kopay, a running back for the 49'ers, the Lions, the Redskins and the Saints, made history when, in 1977, he officially came out, via his autobiography, The David Kopay Story.  Since then, Greg Louganis, Rudy Galindo, Martina Navratilova and Billy Bean have all added texture to the gays-in-sports montage, but notice one thing:  Diving, ice skating, tennis and, okay, baseball.  Not the most macho of sports.  Except for former Dodger, Billy Bean, the sports in which the afore-mentioned athletes participated were viewed as "acceptable" sports for gays and lesbians to participate in.  Except for David Kopay, the number of gay football players to announce their preferences is miniscule, if countable at all.

This isn't to say, however, that gays haven't been a formidable presence in sports, albeit in the stands on on the sofa in front of the TV, and this is in no small part because...well, face it - jocks are hot!  Oh, yeah...all that testosterone packed into those tight pants and oh-so-brief Speedos is frigging luscious.  And you won't find one gay man that will admit to not fantasizing about an after-game locker room session that includes more than the standard cool-down.  Jocks and socks and uniform pants and cleats and all of the equipment and accoutrement of the sportsman become erotically-charged paraphernalia and memorabilia for the man that's banned from playing the game but not playing around.  I'm not too proud or to shy to admit that I'm one of them.  Billy Bean would be exhausted if I were allowed to do all of the things to him when he's in uniform that I want to.  Just something about a baseball player....

So, what happens when the possible becomes a fact?  What happens when gays and lesbians are not just rumored to be in pro sports but are, in fact, highly visible participants.  How will it change the game, for the players and the spectators?

Of course, it's all conjecture at this point, but - aside from the new meaning that after-point-making butt pats will have - there won't be much difference for the spectators.  During fan days or photo days at the park, one might see John and Bob behind a table signing player's cards - instead of John and Roberta - and at-home profiles of players in the sports sections of the newspapers might have two handsome faces staring back at them, rather than a beautiful male-female couple, but other than that, it just won't affect the game for the spectator.  Unless, of course, humans are as base as they seem to be, and yelling "faggot" and "queer" and "cocksucker" from the stands after a bad play becomes the norm.  Would there be fines, do you suppose?

As for the players...well, it's hard to say.  I mean, truth be told, there are already gays in the game.  Will knowing their names make that big a difference?  I'm still enough of a "fag" to think that there's a lot of gay action going on during those road trips.  I think there are some pitchers and catchers that are doing just that in their hotel rooms after the game.  Of course, no one's gay...just horny...what with the wife being at home, and all.  And let's not forget those kinky equipment managers and all that free time that they have both during and after a game.  There's a lot that can be done with some tape and bandage.  All in all, though, I think that it can be as beneficial to team morale as it was for the Greeks.  Imagine how much more watchful we would be over our lover on the playing field than we would be for just some schmo from UCLA that we were forced to room with during away games.  Why risk being refused sex, after all, if you actually let your boyfriend get sacked, as it were.

When you think about it, though, the entire argument for and against gays in sports - or in the military or anywhere else - is trivial and unimportant.  The fact is, we are everywhere and everyone knows it.  Now, all we need to do is ensure that the government provides us with the same rights and benefits that it does to every other American citizen.  Or maybe we'll just take our ball and go home...